It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
