Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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