We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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