sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
