I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize