I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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