White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
