she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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