the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
