After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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