Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
