something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
