He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
