All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
