we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
