She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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