I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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