dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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