it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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