I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
