Redeem this text for a blowjob
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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