does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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