im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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