If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize