at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
