I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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