it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize