I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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