Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
