Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Oh god it's open bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize