I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's never too late to be topless.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
