I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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