I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
