Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
