I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
