Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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