i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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