Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
