Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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