make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
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