i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
