Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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