oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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