True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
