oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
