you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
