covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
