This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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