If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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