i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
