Acid is not a monday night drug
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
