Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
