Heybabeimwearingurpanties
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
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