This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
