i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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