I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
