I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
