The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
