Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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