We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
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It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.